I’m a General Conference delegate who is under thirty years old. “Under thirty years old” isn’t one of the first ways I usually categorize myself, but it seems to be appropriate in this context. I’ll turn twenty-eight during General Conference. You don’t need to get me anything; just don’t make it illegal for me to be a member of your church, that’s really all I want.
As part of my preparation to be a delegate, I’ve been picking up old Books of Discipline and Books of Resolution on Amazon and seeing where we’ve been in the not too distant past. It’s a good education, also I’ve always been impressed by pastors who have complete collections of old Disciplines on their shelf.
To summarize what I’ve found- the insides of those books is even more impressive than their handsome spines. In some instances it isn’t so much what is printed as what isn’t. For example, in the nineties there was no ban on me getting married, for a time in the eighties there was no ban on me being ordained and for the present (as alluded to above) there is no ban on me joining the church.
But it isn’t all just grace by omission. Today I was reading from the 1980 Book of Resolutions (that’s one year before I was born and baptized) and I’m a little shocked by the report on human sexuality. Would we be ready to affirm the following language today? - “Too often men and women who are genuinely struggling with problems in their sexual relationships or with ambivalences in their sexual orientation have had their concerns met with rigidity and simple moralisms, if met at all.” Wow, rigidity and simple moralisms were understood as bad things 28 years ago! Now it feels like people are trying to put them into our vision statement.
Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to turn back the clock. (I recently heard a keynote speaker claiming a new direction for the church say We need to turn time back to how things were in the 18th century. My Annual Conference had paid money for this person to speak to us.)
I’m sure there was plenty going on in the United Methodist Church of 1980 that was problematic, but I’m inspired by the trust and respect implicit in the study document on human sexuality. The tone is calm and caring, compassionate and concerned. Some of this is the special privilege of being a study document and not a resolution. We forget how hard it is to warm the heart when the word “whereas” appears fifteen times and we bring the good news home with the phrase Therefore be it resolved…
But for your own inspiration, read these words from our United Methodist tradition:
“Why do we do this to one another? What is it about our view of sexuality that causes us, more often than not, to approach it negatively rather than positively? Are our expectations and experiences about human sexuality bound up with a culturally restricted view of humanity, full of “holy negatives”? Often we are subject to distorted and misinterpreted biblical, theological, and ethical interpretation. We are called to examine the biblical and theological roots of our understanding of human sexuality. Careful consideration should be given to the context in which Scripture was written. The emphasis on sexuality as limited to procreation is particularly in need of examination. Additionally the biblical teaching must be related to understandings provided by the human sciences and both should be applied to personal and corporate experience of contemporary Christians.”
I could post a lot more of this document, maybe I will if people want to see it. It’s pretty much all this good. There’s nothing in these words that we can’t agree with. So why couldn’t we agree on these words today? I don’t want to suggest that we go back to the way things were. We can do better. But in Fort Worth, I’ll at least try to remember how good we’ve done in the past. I’m not even thirty yet, so I don’t know any better.
Why I Stay. . .
As I prepare for General Conference, I am confronted with a question from many of my friends. "Why do you stay in the United Methodist Church?" As a young(ish) (31) gay man who is not called to ordained ministry, it seems easy enough to walk away from this church that keeps telling me through both its actions and words that I am unwelcome and unwanted. If I am completely honest, this is a question that I am continuously trying to answer for myself. My list changes almost daily, but these are the big reasons why I stay.
I stay in the United Methodist church because this is my church. I was born into a United Methodist family that had been involved in our predecessor denominations for generations (mom was a ME and dad an EUB). The UM church is my home and a part of my identity. The anti-GLBT language that has come out of General Conferences the last 30 or so years is not indicative of our entire history (read Will's blog on this topic).
I stay in the United Methodist church because this is where I learned about a faith community that has a commitment to social justice. It has been taught to me that we are a people that go out into the world to change it. Our mission statement is to make Disciples of Jesus Christ for the Transformation of the World. Our Reconciling Movement is firmly rooted within the Wesleyan heritage and our mission.
I stay in the United Methodist church because of the community. I was lucky enough to have been in a wonderful faith community that has helped in in the tough times of my life, especially during my coming out process. I cannot imagine what would have happened to me if it had not been for a church and campus ministry - both reconciling communities - that helped me through this journey. We need for every United Methodist church to be such a place of support to our GLBT community.
I stay in the United Methodist church because of the Reconciling Ministries Network. I have been a part of several reconciling churches and a reconciling campus ministry. Through RMN, I have met wonderful, justice seeking people throughout this denomination. I stay because of the wonderful welcome and vibrancy of this community, and out of a sense of commitment to this family.
I stay in the United Methodist church because I have been called for "such a time as this" (Esther 4:14). I stay to work for the inclusion of all people in our church including the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community and our allies. This General Conference is one opportunity for us to stand up and stop the continued assault on our community and turn the church around.
I stay in the United Methodist church for now. I am committed to continuing as long as I can, but it is a personal struggle every day. Check back with me tomorrow ...
I look forward to discussing why you stay in the United Methodist church. Peace with Justice.
Posted at 07:52 AM in Commentary, Jayson Dobney | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
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