Preparing Spiritually for General Conference 2008

I am a veteran General Conference (GC) attendee.  I don't know that it means much, but I definitely have the scars to prove that I was in Pittsburgh in 2004.  When I think back, I am unsure why I decided to go and spend two weeks in Pittsburgh at that point in time.  I had no idea what to expect and I certainly was not prepared for the roller coaster ride of emotions that was my experience before, during, and after GC. 

Having come out as a gay man and having gone through the issues of family, friends, and local congregation, I assumed that going to GC would be pretty easy.  I really hoped that the church was going to change - and I think believed that it really would happen in Pittsburgh.  The feelings of rejection, unwelcome, and unwant that I felt after General Conference affected me for months.

Now that I am a veteran, I still have hope for the church to change, I must have hope if I am going to stay in this denomination and keep trying to make things happen.  I really want to believe that it will happen in Ft. Worth.  However, I realize that I need to prepare myself emotionally and spiritually for the events of the next few months. 

This Lenten season, in preparation for GC, I have been engaged in a whole regimen of spiritual disciplines - I call it my spiritual work out.  I have been spending time in prayer for our church and our movement everyday.  I am spending time in scriptural study, and I have also started a regular schedule of fasting one day a week.

The most important part of this spiritual regimen, for me, is to feel a greater sense of connectedness, to God, to those who love me, to those struggling in this unjust church along with me.  With them, I can get through this GC just like Pittsburgh.  With them, I have faith that one day the UMC will change.

Peace with Justice.