Reconciling Conversations

I really like the RMN focus on telling stories as we approach General Conference. I love stories: hearing them, telling them, and reading them. Even as someone who has participated in academic debate and who studies and teaches persuasion, I am convinced that stories are powerful for effecting positive change in people's hearts, minds, and lives--perhaps even more powerful than the best-written syllogism or the most rational and evidence-supported argument.

For this reason, I want to introduce a new term into the RMN lexicon. I don't downplay the importance of reconciling Sunday school classes, reconciling campus ministries, and reconciling congregations, but I contend that even more important than all of those are reconciling conversations. If a reconciling ministry is one that welcomes all people and works toward the full inclusion and dignity of all people into the life of the church, a reconciling conversation is an interpersonal exchange that does the same thing. By a reconciling conversation, I mean conversations where we tell people our stories. We tell people about our lives, our faith journeys, and our processes of discovering our sexuality and gender identity. As we tell these stories, we build relationships, and my hope is that as people come to know me, they realize that those stories--the story of my life, the story of my faith, and the story of my claiming my sexuality--are not incompatible at all. Conversely, they are interwoven, beautifully connected, each a fulfillment of the others.

I encourage you to have reconciling conversations. However you identify--LGBT, queer, straight ally, or no label at all--tell your story. As we tell these stories, the people who listen will develop an enlarged understanding of what people of faith look like. I continue to be amazed that I still meet people who have never heard someone say that God loves and accepts lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people. When I have those kind of reconciling conversations, I feel at least two contradictory emotions simultaneously. On one hand, I am excited to have widened people's understanding. After all, when someone learns that she or he is not alone in the world, that makes a difference. On the other hand, I am profoundly saddened that in 20 or 40 or 60 years of life, the person across the table from me has never heard an affirming word about LGBTQ persons spoken by an individual of faith.

We may not all be members of reconciling congregations, but we all have the opportunity to engage in reconciling conversations. As we near General Conference and as we sort through the results of General Conference, let us be intentional about having reconciling conversations whenever we have the opportunity.

Comments

[Antony Hebblethwaite]

Leland,

I'm all for adding reconciling conversations to our lexicon and I agree that they are foundational. That said, I don't believe telling our stories is enough.

This weekend I discovered that Google had started archiving news stories back to 1987. I created links to 21 years of stories about hate crimes against LGBT people at Hatecrimesbill.org. It started out in 1987 with the headline:

"As AIDS Cases Have Increased, So Has Violence Toward Gays".

Great response to the AIDS epidemic.

In 1998 and 1999 there were so many stories about hate crime that they got their own links in the archives.

"Americans mourn gay hate-crime victim." That was the year Matthew Shepard was crucified in Wyoming.

In 2005:

"2 Guilty of Murder in Death of a Transgender Teenager."

"Advocacy groups: Lesbian's death was a hate crime...Gay and lesbian organizations are calling the recent stabbing death of a lesbian woman a hate crime. The groups held a candlelight vigil Friday evening at Jordan Park for the slain woman, Norma Hernandez Espinoza, who was killed June 10 outside a West Valley City apartment. About 70 people attended."

Stories, stories, stories...thousands of stories...

In 2008 as the LGBT community grieves the loss of another Hate Crimes Bill defeated by the Christian Right, another story...

"Two gay teens killed in just two weeks... Simmie Williams... Lawrence King."

Lawrence King gets on Ellen and Anderson Cooper 360 and the front page of the Advocate.

In 2008, one hate crime story every eight days...

Stories are foundational but can you count on them?

Maybe we need to add another word to our lexicon:

Reconciling Non-violent Direct Action.

[Julie A. Arms]

Leland, those conversations are even more important in the places where the presence of Reconciling people is very small.

[southdakotajay]

Hey Leland,

I love having reconciling conversations - and I think it is the root of all the work we do. Probably every reconciling church, campus ministry, and Sunday School class, started by having those conversations. Peace with Justice.