General Conference 2008

The Reason Why

Last week I met a guy and we got to talking and during the course of our conversation it turned to my involvement with church and then more specifically the United Methodist Church, a church that feels it is ok to deny lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people membership. He kept asking me why I stay in a place that seems to not want me so vocally. Why do I struggle for equality from a group that has no desire to grant me equality? This isn’t the first time I have been asked these questions but somehow it never gets any easier to answer them so I thought it would be important to share them.

For me there are several reasons that I stay. The first and most important reason is my faith in God prevents me from abandoning the body of Christ. It is a source of constant inspiration for me. It isn’t always easy knowing that I’m not welcome everywhere as an equal but somehow God always manages to use those experiences to help me continue to grow in my faith.

Another reason stay is because I see people hurting outside the church. I unfortunately have many friends who have abandoned faith because they feel they do not belong or are unwanted. I know that’s not true but for people who have been so deeply hurt it is hard for them to see. I stay because I want the church to be a place where they feel welcome to come just as they are and if I walk away nothing will ever change.

I see so much potential in the warm and wonderfully loving church that is the UMC. After all it is the church that helped me to find my faith. But it is unfortunately denying a part of the body Christ full access. This is hurting the body because it is making many feel less worthy and less welcome, in a church that preaches that all are of sacred worth.

So why do I stay. I stay because I believe in the UMC. I believe change is currently happening and one day we will truly be a church with open hearts, open minds, and open doors.

Meditate On That

Sit here, wait

to see what comes

What comes when I meditate on General Conference

meditate on general  conference

I decide

“meditate” & “General Conference”

do not belong in the same sentence

 

What comes

is a slightly queasy feeling

excitement-anxiety-anger

that if I stayed with long enough

Might actually make me puke

 

What comes?

 

from the past

Blank stares, that’s what comes.

Parades of delegates

walk by our demonstrations

they look without looking

while we

open doors

block driveways

stand silently

kneel on pavement

offer water

pray

hold signs

sing

cry

Blank stares

from disembodied loyal middle mediocrity

no com/passion in what comes

 

Occasionally other

Offer words and gestures

Come

sympathetic nods

thumbs-ups

contempt

thank yous

questions

what have you

which mostly leave me as cold as the blank stares

 

I am not there for them

I am not there to convince them of anything, anymore

I am there for us

I am there to be us

To come

As

Queer

Creative

Outraged

Out-rage-us

Hilarious

Demanding

Delightful

Resistant

Serious

Crazy

 

Having more fun

Laughing more raucously

Shedding more tears

Grieving deeply

Singing more loudly

And beautifully

Holding gratefully

Communing with

Pursuing passionately

the God of Life who comes

Regardless.

 

I will meditate on that.

Love the Dog

I love dogs.  I love their loud lapping at water bowls, their incessant enthusiasm, and their unabashed enjoyment of belly scratches.  (I also love underdogs and hot dogs, but I think that’s a different topic!). 

My dad went to St. Bernard’s High School.  Their mascot was – yup, you guessed it – a St. Bernard dog.  Dad was about twice as large as I am, so I practically drown in his old clothes.  But I love wearing his high school letter jacket; the warm gray wool is a powerful shield that wards off winter winds, and the embroidered chest patch that depicts a huge, endearing St. Bernard always makes me smile. 

I love that dog.

Now, my neighbors have two cats.  Acorn’s a lot like a little brown tree nut – small, prone to falling from great heights, and almost always in danger of being trampled underfoot.  Magma’s bigger and slower.  Hard to realize she’s even moving, until it’s too late - suddenly you’re engulfed by a heavy gray mass!  And holding her is like receiving a full-body bear hug: Magma’s weight crushes you like molten rock.  She throws her weight around in a more figurative sense, too – Magma’s got attitude.

One of my neighbors took them to church for the Blessing of the Animals.  Magma can’t stand car rides – I’m sure she spent the entire 20-minute drive complaining incessantly.  Acorn’s sweet, but not the brightest gourd in the field, so she was a bit confused about where exactly she was.  But both were blessed, the unwilling and the uncertain.  And my neighbor says it was beautiful, a time when all of God’s creation was welcomed into God’s house for blessing and rejoicing.  A time when the expansiveness of God’s love was made tangible, when the companionship of beloved pets was celebrated, and people experienced – not just mentally understood – the interconnectedness of all life on God’s great green earth. 

It sounds nice, but it made me sad.  The church was happy to ritually commemorate the love and lives shared by pets and their humans, but when my neighbor finds a partner with whom to share his love and life, the United Methodist Church will close its doors to him.  My neighbor, my ardently churchy neighbor, whose heart is strangely warmed by singing centuries-old English hymns, will find those proverbially open UMC doors slammed in his face, simply because any marriage he enters into will unite him with a man. 

Myself, I’m not home enough to have a dog – or a cat.  I still dream of a day when I’ll take an early evening walk to the lake with my big, furry St. Bernard, a dog that sweetly will remind me of my late father.  I expect all three of us to have a mutual love of the water, of long and lazy summer afternoons, and of warm winter nights lounging beside a fireplace.  I also expect to take such a dog to our local UMC for a Blessing of the Animals.

Sadly, I also expect that same church to be unable to celebrate any partnership I may have with a human being.  Now, let me be clear – I am blessed to live in Boston, MA, where there are many Reconciling churches within driving distance.  Indeed, I attend one on Sunday evenings, and am discerning whether I should be more deeply involved with a second congregation that meets on Sunday mornings.  I am blessed.

But official United Methodist policy forbids the celebration of same-sex marriages, even though they are legal here in Massachusetts.  So if I can find the right person, we can share our lives and hearts with one another, can cook meals together for church potlucks, and may even spend our Sundays serving on committees and singing in the choir (I like to imagine dating a baritone, whose rich voice completely drowns out my tone-deaf hymn-mangling.  It seems the Christian thing to do, to spare others of any auditory suffering I may currently be causing).  But somehow, this dream life would be distasteful in the eyes of the church.   If I’m looking for a ritual blessing of the God-given love that buoys my everyday life, the UMC says my St. Bernard is welcome, but my Bernard is not.

As a church, how can we celebrate companionship with pets but not with people?

When reluctantly forced to name this sad state of affairs, I must admit that the UMC stance can be summed up in one stale, stark quip:

Love the dog, hate the dog owner.

But take heart, friends:  GLBT people may be excluded from the church, but apparently the hearts, minds, and doors of the United Methodist Church are open to felines.  I’m going to be nicer to Acorn and Magma, and slip them a little extra catnip every now and then.  After all, they can get a front-row seat in any United Methodist Church  - maybe they can sneak me and Bernard in!

Unity

The theme for this General Conference is "A Future with Hope."  However, if you have been following the articles in the official UM media, and the language coming from many of the bishops and general agencies, the real buzzword of GC 2008, is unity.

Unity is important to our identity as United Methodists. Our very name came from the “uniting” of the Evangelical United Brethren denomination and the Methodist denomination at a “uniting” conference 40 years ago. Our founder, John Wesley, famously said: "In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity." 

This unity talk started because some conservative caucus groups were pushing for schism at the last General Conference. I think most of us are agreed that we would rather that this didn’t happen. I am against schism.  I love our church and don't want it to split - read my earlier post.  But we also cannot let this talk of unity overpower the necessity of Justice. Unity is important, but it is not all-important.

The way the word unity is being used this general conference is to stop debate. There have been suggestions that we shouldn’t discuss GLBT issues this General Conference. That is not unity. According to my dictionary, unity means whole or being in totality. The church can never achieve unity until it welcomes all people, all families, all relationships, and all of our gifts and talents.

Let’s not forget the above quote by Wesley. The important part of that message seems to be “in all things, charity.” My question to the general church is where is the charity in Judicial Council ruling 1032? Or in taking credentials from ordained ministers? 

The opposite of unity, of "wholeness," is being broken, in pieces.  We as Christians know the value of brokenness.  Every time we have communion we relive the night when Jesus died, when he took the bread and broke it, saying this is my body.  It was through the brokenness of Christ's physical body that resurrection came.

Isn't the church also the body of Christ?  Although we should work to stay united, we should not be scared of being broken. It may be painful for us, but sometimes the path following Jesus leads us through times of brokenness. How else do we get to Easter?

We cannot sacrifice the GLBT community for some false idea of unity.  We must continue to bring our message of a justice-seeking, grace-filled, loving God, to everyone.  That is the only way to achieve true unity.

Justice

My name is Stephen.  This is my first ever effort as a blogger.  I have never even read another person's blog, but I think i get the idea.  I am the father of two sons and one daughter in law.  My wife, Leigh, and I are anxiously awaiting our first grandchild.  We are also awaiting the events of General Conference 2008, hoping that our church's Open Hearts, Open Doors, Open Minds refrain is real.

One of my sons is a Deacon in the United Methodist Church.  He has always fought injustice and bigotry.  I have always admired that about him.  He and I stand together in opposition to the current U Methodist position which discriminates against people on the basis of their sexuality. 

I believe that our sexuality is part of who we are and not something that we choose.  I do not pretend to understand all of the reasons for the spectrum of sexuality and I think it is arrogant of others to presume that they do.  Exclusion is not the way of Jesus.  He did not suggest that anyone should be excluded for any reason. I'll take my cue from Him.

I'll have more to say.......

Youth and Young Adults: These Are Our Stories

MoSAIC began in May of 1996 at the United Methodist Student Forum in Oklahoma City. A group of college student participants were aggrieved by the decision of the Forum not to encourage the national church assembly to strike homophobic language from church law. In response, several students gathered to create a national student coalition and network in support of ministry inclusive of all people.

MoSAIC affirms diversity, sexuality, spirituality, and activism. We seek to be present in the Methodist community as a reconciling, affirming and spirit-moving force. Christ's love empowers us to extend his ministry and inclusivity among all members of the Body of Christ.

"These Are Our Stories" is part of the MoSAIC witness to the 2008 General Conference of the United Methodist Church. We will feature a new story at Generalconference2008.org each Monday leading up to General Conference. Here is Caleb's story:

You may visit MoSAIC's YouTube Channel at:

http://www.youtube.com/user/MosaicRMN

You may visit MoSAIC's Blog at:

http://mosaic.rmnetwork.org