General Conference 2008

Denied Membership story

This video is of me sharing my story at a welcoming congregation in Seattle called Wallingford UMC. Thought I would share it here.

Scars

Something Jayson said about scars from GC 2004, as well as what Julie T said about feeling uneasy about GC coming up have both resonated with me, and spurred me to finally write my first blog post in this forum.

I am also a General Conference veteran.  In 1996, I attended the entire two weeks in Denver with the Garrett-Evangelical seminar.  In 2000, I attended the Cleveland GC as a volunteer from Broadway UMC and stayed the whole time there as well.  In 2004, I planned not to go at all, but midway through the first week, found I couldn't stay away.  By the weekend I was in Pittsburgh.  And I plan to attend the entire conference this year as well.  "Liberal church nerd".  That's me.  (Thanks to Sue for the label.)

My clearest memories are of the Cleveland GC.  I was a legislation monitor in the Faith and Order legislative committee.  It took almost all of my time and energy.  We met late into the nights and all day on both weekend days.  I did not get to attend the RMN rally, or do any witnessing events like holding open doors and passing out newsletters.  I barely saw my BUMC friends and I certainly didn't get as much time as I would have liked seeing my larger "church family"--some of whom I only see at this gathering, every four years!

But I clearly remember the last days and hours.  The faces of the delegates.  The 14 Bishops who led a hymn sing during a break in the voting.  The witness of Sue Laurie and Randy Miller.  The faces of those who went up front during the proceedings, and their subsequent arrest.  (And the celebration we had outside the jail when they were released.)  The anguished voice of the woman who threatened to jump from the balcony railing when the church's renewed rejection of her sexuality and her very person were brought to life in the voting.  The tears.  The way my stomach felt.  The faces and rainbow rag stoles of those who were watching the proceedings from the balcony--a silent witness.  The rockin' party we had down the street when it was all over--a resurrection of sorts.

That these memories are so clear all these years later reveals just what an impact that gathering had on me emotionally.  It was overwhelming and traumatic.  I remember the ride home; it was pretty quiet in the car.  We were all just shell-shocked and exhausted.  It took me months afterwards to feel like myself again.

Am I anxious about going to Fort Worth?  You bet I am.  But I am also hopeful, afraid, excited, determined, and feeling the Spirit leading me.   We are going to Texas next month.  I can't wait to see all those far-flung family members.  I look forward to the comfort of being surrounded by other United Methodists and having some great worship opportunities.  I will feel welcome, because this is my church and my home.  I know this will not be without struggle, and the work we will do spans many years and at least a few more General Conferences!  But I feel ready to get there and begin the work anew.

I have been carrying around two Audre Lord quotes recently and I think they're appropriate for us:

When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak.

When I dare to be powerful - to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.

Don't ask don't tell

Okay, I have discovered that I have to be more disciplined about blogging.  Maybe i do and maybe I don't have any original thoughts, but I am going to express them any way.  We shall see if it makes any sense at all.  I am going to say what comes to my mind....It occurred to me today that I could actually be putting some of my gay friends, family, or associates, who happen to be United Methodist Pastors, at risk just by mentioning their name in this blog.  It is possible that some of the folks who are so adamantly against anyone gay entering or remaining a United Methodist clergy could comb this blog site, take names, and sentence them to death siting the Old Testament.  Or they could turn their names into the Bishop for punishment....Then as I took this further in my mind I started thinking about my experiences as member and chair of Staff Parish Relations Committees in 2 United Methodist Churches...The situations and personalities that I encountered  led to divorce of one pastor and other mean and nasty things but yet they don't want people that I know, who happen to be gay (not be choice but by nature) who are moral, ethical and caring people, to become Pastors in this Church...My Church..(I love that piece of the Reconciling Ministries video in which the guy says "Hey, they are talking about ME...they want to keep ME out"  or something like that.....It began to get absurd and make me mad...I began to think that if this was anything else (except the armed services) somebody would be getting sued.  If a person is baptised in the U Meth faith and told that they are a child of God how can they become not so?  I keep trying to reconcile myself, thinking this is just one issue in our Church, but daggonit, this is serious.  This flies in the face of  Jesus...This is my Church too and I strongly disagree with Don't Ask Don't Tell.  I think rational thinking people know that people do not choose their sexuality....People who are not heterosexual can be just as moral or immoral as anyone.  Generalizing any population is bad business...Enough....

Preparing Spiritually for General Conference 2008

I am a veteran General Conference (GC) attendee.  I don't know that it means much, but I definitely have the scars to prove that I was in Pittsburgh in 2004.  When I think back, I am unsure why I decided to go and spend two weeks in Pittsburgh at that point in time.  I had no idea what to expect and I certainly was not prepared for the roller coaster ride of emotions that was my experience before, during, and after GC. 

Having come out as a gay man and having gone through the issues of family, friends, and local congregation, I assumed that going to GC would be pretty easy.  I really hoped that the church was going to change - and I think believed that it really would happen in Pittsburgh.  The feelings of rejection, unwelcome, and unwant that I felt after General Conference affected me for months.

Now that I am a veteran, I still have hope for the church to change, I must have hope if I am going to stay in this denomination and keep trying to make things happen.  I really want to believe that it will happen in Ft. Worth.  However, I realize that I need to prepare myself emotionally and spiritually for the events of the next few months. 

This Lenten season, in preparation for GC, I have been engaged in a whole regimen of spiritual disciplines - I call it my spiritual work out.  I have been spending time in prayer for our church and our movement everyday.  I am spending time in scriptural study, and I have also started a regular schedule of fasting one day a week.

The most important part of this spiritual regimen, for me, is to feel a greater sense of connectedness, to God, to those who love me, to those struggling in this unjust church along with me.  With them, I can get through this GC just like Pittsburgh.  With them, I have faith that one day the UMC will change.

Peace with Justice.

Taken With Trees

One Family Tree

Our logo came out nice

It’s pretty, all the multi-colored leaves

But to be perfectly honest

I’m not really into the theme

Family – so heteronormative

Tree – we were trying to blend with the General Conference logo and theme

The green tree & “A Future with Hope”

I didn’t really see the need to regard the General Conference theme at all

Why is it that the margins feel they have to address themselves to the center anyway?

Doesn’t that strategy always fail?

Like addressing ourselves to unity? To being ONE?

 

To me the GC theme “A Future With Hope” was just, well, might I say, premature.

It reminded me of another theme in the book of Jeremiah,

“People carelessly saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ when there is no peace.”

How about trying on this Jeremiah for size:

“My heart is sick, hark, the cry of my poor people from far and wide in the land…is there no balm in Gilead?"

“A Future with Hope?”

What’s with the mighty middle UMC adopting a passage from the exile?

Who in the General Conference is in exile anyway?

I mean, really. And I ain’t talking about just the gay people here.

 

One Family Tree?

What are we saying we are a part of here?

What is it we are saying we want to be a part of?

Jeremiah writes

The religious establishment is a disastrous faithless mess and God has had it

The future with hope depends upon the people who have already been exiled

(Who, by the way, have their own repenting to do for their various forms of faithlessness)

But God is not suggesting that the exiled rejoin the family tree just yet

God still has some of God’s own work to do

Bringing low the remaining religious establishment so the restoration might begin

 

Meanwhile

God says

Wherever you find yourselves, exiled people

It’s not just about BEING A TREE

It’s about PLANTING TREES

[well, technically Jeremiah says plant gardens (verse 5), but, same idea]

 

It’s not about wishing you were a part of some fictitious family that you are not a part of

Or even if you could be, that it would be a good idea

But it’s about whatever ground you are standing in which you find yourself an exile

Bringing life to that land and the people around you

And being faithful to the ONE who is with you in this land

Faithful to the ONE, who, though it is confusing and pisses me off sometimes,

According to Jeremiah

Brought us to this land for a purpose.

 

Root yourselves in one another who are the exiled

Connect to the real, living space that sustains your being

and it will sustain you

Be productive

Make community

Seek the welfare of the place where you are

The journey to restoration will be long

So seek me

And pray

MoSAIC in Chicago for GC 2008 Planning Meeting

The 2008 General Conference planning team for MoSAIC met in Chicago last weekend. Members of the planning team traveled from all over the country to get ready for the General Conference in Fort Worth, TX.

If you would like to donate to help youth and young adults get to General Conference, visit our donation page and designate your gift "General Conference Youth Scholarship". Each youth and young adult scholarship costs about $500. We hope to bring 100 youth and young adults to General Conference.

Here is a YouTube Video of the MoSAIC planning session at Holy Covenant UMC, a Reconciling Congregation:

Youth and Young Adults: These Are Our Stories

"These Are Our Stories" is part of the MoSAIC witness to the 2008 General Conference of the United Methodist Church. We will feature a new story at Generalconference2008.org each week leading up to General Conference. Here is Miriam's story:

You may visit MoSAIC's YouTube Channel at:

http://www.youtube.com/user/MosaicRMN

You may visit MoSAIC's Blog at:

http://mosaic.rmnetwork.org